PART III

She must begin with the Chinese dynasty and end with Japan. But first of all she must study geology, and especially the history of the extinct races of animals-their natures, their habits, their loves, their hates, their revenges. She must—"

"Hold, h-o-o-old!" roared Hum-Drum. "It is certainly my turn now. My rooted and insubvertible conviction is, that the causes of the anomalies evident in the princess's condition are strictly and solely physical. But that is only tantamount to acknowledging that they exist. Hear my opinion.— From some cause or other, of no importance to our inquiry, the motion of her heart has been reversed. That remarkable combination of the suction and the force-pump works the wrong way-I mean in the case of the unfortunate princess: it draws in where it should force out, and forces out where it should draw in. The offices of the auricles and the ventricles are subverted. The blood is sent forth by the veins, and returns by the arteries. Consequently it is running the wrong way through all her corporeal organism—lungs and all. Is it then at all mysterious, seeing that such is the case, that on the other particular of gravitation as well, she should differ from normal humanity? My proposal for the cure is this:—

"Phlebotomize until she is reduced to the last point of safety. Let it be effected, if necessary, in a warm bath. When she is reduced to a state of perfect asphyxy, apply a ligature to the left ankle, drawing it as tight as the bone will bear. Apply, at the same moment, another of equal tension around the right wrist. By means of plates constructed for the purpose, place the other foot and hand under the receivers of two air-pumps. Exhaust the receivers. Exhibit a pint of French brandy, and await the result."

"Which would presently arrive in the form of grim Death," said Kopy-Keck.

"If it should, she would yet die in doing our duty," retorted Hum-Drum.

But their Majesties had too much tenderness for their volatile offspring to subject her to either of the schemes of the equally unscrupulous philosophers. Indeed, the most complete knowledge of the laws of nature would have been unserviceable in her case; for it was impossible to classify her. She was a fifth imponderable body, sharing all the other properties of the ponderable.

第3节

她必须从中国学到日本。不过她首先要学的是地质学，特别是那些已经灭绝动物的历史——它们的天性、它们的习性、它们的爱、它们的恨、它们的报复。她必须——”

“够了，够、够、够了！”哈鼓鼓大叫起来，“这下该轮到我了。我深信不疑的一点是，公主身上非比常人现象的根本原因，确切而肯定地说都是自然现象。请听我的解释。基于一种或是别的什么原因，这对我们的调查并不重要，她的心脏运动被翻转了。收缩力和扩张力以一种错误的方式相交替，我是说，在公主这种不幸的情况下，在应该扩张的地方收缩下去，而在应该收缩的地方反而扩张开来。心耳和心室的功能也都被搅乱了。血液从静脉流出，从动脉返回。结果就导致她整个身体器官都按照错误的方式来运作，包括肺等等一切。这神秘的现象就如同我们现在看到的，表现为受到另一种特别的地心引力的影响，难道她不应该同正常的人类有所区别吗？我建议的治疗方案是这样的——

“首先给她抽血，一直抽到仅能维持生命安全的程度。为了更有效，必要的话，将她泡在热水中。当她失血达到近乎休克的时候，就用一条绷带绑住她的左脚踝，只要骨头不断，能绑多紧就绑多紧。与此同时，在右手腕也绑上一样的绷带。通过特制的板子，把另一只脚和另一只手放在两只空气泵的出气管里面。排空出气管，注入一品脱的法国白兰地，然后静候佳音。”

“那你等着看，到时候死神会以什么模样大驾光临吧。”扣咳咳说道。

“就算真的有什么不幸，我们也算是尽心尽力了。”哈鼓鼓反驳道。

但是他们的国王陛下觉得这些天马行空的想法太不可思议，决定还是不把公主交给这两个有着大无畏精神的哲学大师，去实现他们的想法。确实，即使是最完备的自然规律知识，也不能适用在公主身上，要想为她分门别类是不可能的。她是不可衡量的第五种形态，兼具可衡量的其他形态的所有特性。

第07章03 Try Metaphysics / 尝试玄学